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BKM SANDFLAKES

Notes sent by Ban-jusa to his aides related - somehow, someway - to the issue of Western Sahara

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SATIRE
    MINURSO Sucks !
    July 26, 2007



    Only International Force Willing to protect basic human rights standards, Says Ban-jusa

    I'm frustrated in my attempts to assemble an international peacekeeping force with the highest standards of behavior and capable of protecting innocent civilians, and to serve as a buffer between Polisaurus and Moroccus. Frankly, MINURSO sucks !!!

    The good news is that - today - I have received a firm commitment from the Boys & Girls Scouts Organization announcing their willingness to serve as peacekeepers in the conflict-ridden region.

    Many diplomatic observers were surprised that I would entrust the delicate task of peacekeeping to the Boys & Girls Scouts, an organization that has shown leadership in the ethical, good order and discipline fields but is relatively untested in the treacherous sands of Western Sahara conflict.

    But with such foreign powers as the memebrs of the Security Council unwilling to strengthen the upholding of human rights standards in that hotspot of the world, The Boys & Girls Scouts became the only option for me.

    "We believe that the Boy Scouts will bring peace, zero-tolerance policy , and failing that, at least say it as it is; The occupier is torturing and maiming routinely innocent civilians in Western Sahara. Something MINURSO has failed to discover." Sue Revelator, Officer-in-Charge of the Department of Field Support, said at a press briefing this morning.

    I do not want the case of "Ivory Coast" to happen again. Last week, the Morrucan contingent serving with the UN Operation in Ivory Coast (UNOCI) was suspended amid allegations of sexual exploitation and abuse involving the local population. But I'm not kidding you, those are not allegations, those are facts and everyone knows it. Now, let's drag the investigation until the world turns its attention away from this debacle.

    Before I even got this job, MINURSO was already turning a blind eye on the human rights situation in Western Sahara. To me, that's no longer acceptable. How am I supposed to advance my autonomy project, having a bunch of money-sucking, girls' stalking idiots who don't give a damn about the safety of the civilian population?

    According to the plan that I hammered out with the Security Council, The Boys & Girls Scouts will create a 5 kms. buffer zone along the Morrucan defensive berm. And, by the way, this is not the imaginary buffer zone Benaissa keeps talking about and stretching at will!

    Below you can read some reactions to my announcement:


    Abdelaziz Mohamed, who has studied the interaction between North Africa politics and global Boy Scouts organizations at the University of Tan-tan, believes that unlike MINURSO, the Boy Scouts organization can be expected to stay independent of foreign states, such as Egypt and France.

    In other news, despite the earlier declarations of some of its representatives, Polisaurus has finally hit on target. Ali Beila, the chief negociator, made a startling comment to the press: "If the Morruccans insist on discussing autonomy at the negociating table, we will just pretend we're not there."

    Ban-jusa