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BKM SANDFLAKESNotes sent by Ban-jusa to his aides related - somehow, someway - to the issue of Western Sahara |
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SATIRE
The Move July 11, 2007 Hey everybody, Well, goodness me. I've had a telephone conversaton with Khallih-hna. For those of you who are not familiar with the name, he's the odd member of the Morrucans delegation negociating with Polisaurus. And, the least qualified member, I might add. No, guys, take a breath !! His call was not charged to my credit card. So, let's get to the core of our conversation: After we had a brief and cordial chat, he said he had a big announcement to make. I said go ahead Khalli, I'm listening: "I'm going to be honest, Ban-jusa..", he began.... His first uttered words sent a chill through my spine. Oh, boy, I thought. What have I got myself into?. The dude starts talking "honesty" ! Anyways, he continued: " Ban-jusa, I want to let you know that for the next round of negociations I won't be coming as president of CORCAS". Instinctively, I interrupted him: Wow, that's awsome ! Thinking that he would be coming as the HEAD of the delegation. No, no, he said. "I'm changing my title." To what? ... "To Khallih-hna, the King of Western Sahara". After recovering from the shocking news, I said: "But Khalli, we've not yet fixed the question of sovereignty over Western Sahara ! Furthermore, didn't you just get the Spanish nationality and could work for Iberdrola? " To which he replied, "Ecoute-moi bien, don't mention that now !. I just think it's time for me to make another surprising move. A political one, and it would be the best solution to the conflict. That has been the purpose of my life; one shocking move after another. So, I went ahead and announced 'la nouvelle' today, at my villa, in Layuonen." Later, the knave revealed that he had raised enough money over the years to become a king, and that he wants to make a request publicly, at the UN, for his title to be legally changed to "His Majesty, the King of Western Sahara". And, afterwards, organize a crowning ceremony. I had many questions running through my mind, I didn't know what to say. Do we have to get the International Court of Justice involved again, or what ? But the ICJ will just issue another ambiguous ruling. On the other hand, for a well-established yet controversial politician like the bull of CORCAS, the decision to change his title to such loftiness in the middle of a negociating process it strikes me as unorthodox......But, hey, what's orthodox in all this hodgepodge !!! Seeming uneasy with my comments he reacted: "Escucha, we have two ministers of Foreign Affairs and two Ministers of Interior, so ....donc pourquoi pas deux..." The guy had a point, but I interrupted him, again: But why choose the UN as the venue to announce your new title? "I am just trying to reach out to as many people as I can," he told me. "I want them to get to know ' Khallih-hna, le roi '." Amid the controversy swirling about his "new move", many people today reacted on the news with shock : Minutes after announcing his decision, however, he received a harsh rebuke from the Istiqlal party, who claimed that their party leader, Abbas El Fassi, has exclusive rights to become a king or emperor, since it has been the only party to claim the imperial "Greater Morocco". "Khallih-hna has no right to change his title to King and he knows this is just egotistical extravagance," said Hicham Meknasi, a spokesperson for the Istiqlal party. "If he wants to steal another title, why doesn't he take Mobutu's?" Coming to the president of CORCAS' defense was his all time friend, Omar Hadrami, who told MAP that "it is every traitor's right to change his or her title to President or King." "I am behind Khallih-hna's decision one hundred percent," said Mr. Hadrami, who said he will now be known as Lauren Hadrami Kabila. Lahcen Lakhla - a Saharawi who studies the "move habits" of Makhzen employees at the University of Tan-Tan, says that the world "shouldn't be surprised" by Mr. Khallih-hna's apparent "magically effective moves". "Convincing someone to believe him is no big deal for a man like Khallih-hna," Mr. Lakhla said. "Remember, this is the same guy who convinced Spain and then Morocco to believe on 'his moves'." On other news: In a short burst of lucidity and a brilliantly insightful display of Public Relations know-how, Polisaurus announced that it's considering sending a woman for the next round of negociations. Unlike their male counterparts, "women suffered the most in this conflict, and it's only fair that they should have a representation on the negociating team." said one Polisaurus diplomat on condition of anonymity. Will keep you posted on the developments, Ban-jusa |